Roddy’s Rant: The Truth about Nothing
by Chris Roddy
Whatever Happened to Crazy?
John Treloar is ‘da man. Yeah, that’s right, I am ready to jump on his souped-up bandwagon. Hell, I’ll even spring for the rims.
Some of you may be applauding my decision. Others may be cringing at my inefficient use of modern slang in the midst of a colloquial commentary on basketball. And still others, in all likelihood this is most of you, are simply asking yourselves this question:
Who the hell is John Treloar?
Treloar was the super sub for Indiana University’s suspended head coach, Mike Davis. I have no beef with Treloar and he should be proud of his “W” over Ball State (which had an absolutely awful holiday menu by the way – Dayton, Xavier and then Indiana – ouch).
Enough with the niceties. What do I think about Davis’s suspension?
Glad you asked (yep, here it comes so unbuckle the top button on your pants and stuff another Christmas cookie in your gush as I lay it on the line).
I think that it was necessary for the NCAA to make some sort of gesture of authority and I suppose that a “time-out” for Davis to go and sit in the corner to think about the naughty things he did was unavoidable. What could they do? The media went nuts (almost as much as Davis did in the last few moments of that Indiana vs. Kentucky game) over the now famous “Mike Davis Crazy Man With Arms Flailing Outburst.”
In fact, rumors purported that the NCAA committee (what do these guys do if there is ever a season filled with nothing but class and impeccable etiquette?) were going to put Davis in a straitjacket for six games. Isn’t the steepest penalty in the NFL for a guy who is caught pants down (literally) while cracked out a two-game suspension and an informational self-help video by Stuart Smalley?
Look, Mike Davis messed up. He admitted it (I could include the quote here, but it pretty much was him just saying, “I admit it. I messed up.”). He dutifully accepted whatever penalty was bestowed upon him. And that’s the end of that.
But I’m not done ranting.
Well, maybe not exactly ranting, but more like expressing myself through words fused with fume and rage.
Davis did the right thing. And I don’t mean his willingness to disappear only to be replaced by a gigantic papier-mache look-alike puppet that appeared at press conferences saying, “I’m sorry.”
I mean he did the right thing going off his rocker and giving the ref a good ‘ole fashioned “talkin’ to.” Davis went berserk and I was happy he did. How many times are you sitting around the TV with friends and the ref misses a call (or so you think) followed by you making an ass of yourself? You know what I mean, don’t be looking around and doing that point-at-yourself-motion-as-your-face-says, “No way dude. Not me. Never have I ever done such an appalling thing.” You’ve had your moments when the pillows go flying, nacho dip splatters and a string of profanities flows out of your mouth that’d make Bobby Knight blush.
Davis reacted (alright, overreacted is more like it) in the moment. He didn’t like the call. He even took it upon himself to walk all the way over to the ref to explain it to him. He used wonderful little motions with his arms, hands and hips (not to be confused with jazzercise, the popular dance-exercise craze of the early ’90s) to show the ref what had happened. I was confused with what had happened until Davis repeatedly smacked himself on the arm to show me that he had lost his watch (later I figured out that he meant Bracey Wright had been fouled by Kentucky’s Jules Camara). Close-ups from the camera also revealed that Davis only used eloquent language to explain his thoughts on the situation.
And they wanted to give him a six-game suspension? They should appoint him to be spokesman (or gestureman) for the NCAA Basketball Foundation for Visual Translation of Fouls.
What’s done is done. The guy flipped out during a really big game. It could happen to anyone. Not every guy who coaches is as emotionally dead as Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski (Maybe he suffers from that weird disease that makes you not be happy when you enjoy lots of success playing a game. Poor guy.)
So, all in all, I say kudos to you, Mike Davis. From all of us who have a temper tantrum every Saturday, I thank you. For being human.
And telling a ref off.
As for Treloar, well, I was on your side and ready to ride with you to glory. But they’ll probably yank you after the suspension is up. I mean come on, this Mike Davis guy lost to Kentucky and then Temple. But Treloar, he’s got something special. He beat Ball State.
And he was polite during the game too.
Roddy’s Rant appears whenever he gets ticked off. Tune in next time when Roddy looks at why fans are obsessed with those long squiggly balloon things in his next piece, Foul and Fouler: Why Fans are Obsessed with Long Squiggly Balloon Things.
