Hoopville Theater
by Adam Shandler
The Hoopville Players (a very community-minded theater company, mind you) are busy putting the pieces in place for their next big production “Season (thus far) In Song.” The theater has been working painstaking hours to unite members of the college hoops community for this colossal (and quite large) extravaganza!
Never before have you heard the standards of Broadway heard like this. After you do, you’ll wish you didn’t. Act now…tickets aren’t going anywhere, but don’t make us beg.
Okay, here’s a taste!
It’s— “The Season In Song” (now performing at the Bucks County Playhouse, at nursing homes and in elementary school auditorium/gym/cafeterias.)
Hear: Bobby Knight mellifluously matriculate while marching to win Number 800!
“I am the very model of a modern, major General. I’ve only thrown one fit this year, I know it’s unbelievable…”
Sway: with a talented chorus of Michigan Boosters as they fall on their swords!
“Webber-lovin’, gave him some cash. Webber-lovin’, thought it would last. Took the banners, off of the beams…Chris was loaded, ya know what I mean…!”
Cry: as LeBron James reprises his role of Tevya!
“If I was a rich man (which I am). Blingy-blingy-blingy-blingy-blingy-blingy-blingy-blingy-bliiiiiing! All day long I’d cruise across the land…but I will not play for Cleve-land. Oy!”
Tap your toe: to the stunning voice of Darnell Archey as he sings the songs of ABBA!
“Free-throw King. Watch me sink — number 83…”
Your heart will melt when you hear Roy Williams croon:
“To dream, the impossible dream…”
You’ll fall in love: with Kelvin Sampson, and his trusty companion, Hollis Price:
“OOOOOklahoma, where the wins keep piling up each daaaaaay. And if Duke keeps losing, then we’ll be cruising to the…NC double Ayyyyyyyyy!
You know the lyrics: join Julie Andrews as she provides a note-by-note account of teams that have slipped in the rankings:
“Or-e-gon, I think they’re done. X, hey where’s the Musketeeeeers?”
Special appearances by Tyne Daly! Choreography by Twyla Tharp! And something for the kids — The Croft Puppets!
And, of course, Lynda Lavin…and Steve Lavin, in a never-before-heard duet!
“I’m (You’re) gonna comb that grease right into (my) your hair. “I’m (you’re) gonna stay right here, not going nowhere. I’m (you’re) gonna scratch and claw till they till me to leave…”
This play is rated for immature audiences only.
