Roddy’s Rant: The End of Fall
by Chris Roddy
The summer is finito. Sunshine is replaced with suit ties and jackets. Outdoor dining leaves only to be supplanted by long-necked sweaters. Air conditioners come out and homework comes in. Blegh.
There is a silver lining though.
Or, so it seems.
The end of summer marks a fine occasion in the sports world. A collision of many trains on a single track: the launch of football, tail end of baseball, rumblings of basketball, warm-ups for hockey, swan song of golf, and game-set-match of tennis, all of these take the television stage at the same moment.
And I can’t figure out what the hell to do.
Gnawing on a low-calorie unsalted pretzel, my fingers slide with rapid fluidity over the numbers on the remote. Where will they end up and what combination will win this lottery is still unknown. I know, check the sports stations. Right! Of course the trusted networks of athletics would know where to tune in and why. I’ll just punch in the ol’ station here and we’ll be all set.
Which one?
ESPN, FoxSports, MSG (not the harmful and unwanted food ingredient), SoccerAmerica, The Golf Channel, ESPN2, CNNSI, ESPN3, The Sporting Channel, ESPNClassic, The Tennis Channel, ESPNews, ESP-S.O.B.*&^%$#!
The airwaves are cluttered with too many sports. I’d rather surf the net and try to get over 300,000 people in my Friendster network before trying to make sense of this jumbled landscape. What fun is it to try and relax with a little sports watching if it requires 14 hours of research to make the right programming selection?
So then what do I propose as a solution?
No end to summer.
Argue that. Sweet, right?
Next week tune in when Roddy writes, “How I Found My Jockstrap: A Tale of Horror and Mystery”
